Scroll To Top

Quran Goals

On 20 Aug 2011, In Abdullah, Quran, Ramadan, by , 2 Comments

As Salaam Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu,

It is an absolute truth that one of the many blessings of Ramadan is becoming reacquainted with the Quran. For eleven months of the year our Qurans sit on the shelf gathering dust, ignored and neglected. Then Ramadan reaches us and we race to read the entire Kitab. Indeed the Ramadan is the month of the Quran.

Allah says in His Quran (2:185),

شَهْرُ رَمَضَانَ ٱلَّذِىٓ أُنزِلَ فِيهِ ٱلْقُرْءَانُ هُدًۭى لِّلنَّاسِ وَبَيِّنَٰتٍۢ مِّنَ ٱلْهُدَىٰ وَٱلْفُرْقَانِ

The month of Ramadan in which was revealed the Qur’an, a guidance for mankind and clear proofs for the guidance and the criterion.

Every Ramadan we fall in love with reading the Quran. Not books about the Quran, not lectures about the Quran, not even recitations of Quran by someone else, but that special personal relationship as we read and reflect on the Kalam of Allah Azawajal in quiet solitude. What an amazing Book!

My fear and what I am feeling anxiety about is going back to the pre-Ramadan statu quo. I cannot and do not ever want to become estranged from It again. It is my love. It is my soul. If we do not have this Quran in our hearts, in our minds and on our tongues, our Islam is nothing but an empty shell.

I know that once this blessed month departs and the shayatin are let loose and when we start feeding our bodies and starving our souls and when we give precedence to our worldly pursuits, staying attached to the Quran will become more and more difficult. For that reason, we need to have a Quran goal to help us maintain our connection to the Book of Allah. We have to strictly adhere to whatever goal we set ourselves and guard it with jealousy, until it becomes our habit.

Personally, I am making intention to read half a juz every day until Ramadan reaches us again. In addition, I am making intention to learn the meanings of the words. By the time Ramadan reaches us again, I want to know the meaning of every single word. I know this is a big challenge, however, I cannot think of a more worthy use of my time and energy.

Are you setting any Quran goals for yourself? How do they compare to mine? Please do share.

Spirituality in Dawah

On 12 Aug 2011, In Dawah, Ramadan, by , No comments

As Salaam Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu,

Isn’t it the case that when you try to explain a facet of Islam to a non-Muslim you focus on the physical aspect and ignore the spiritual? How can they understand the happy soul of the fasting Muslim, when they do not fast? How can they fathom the deep and direct connection we have with our Lord, Allah Ar-Rahman, when we place our head on the floor in sajud, when they do not believe and they do not pray? What could explain the tears of an “old” revert as they relive their moment watching a new Muslim enter into the ummah of Muhammad, salallahu alayhi wa sallam?

I’m sure we’ve all been in the awkward position, where a curious non-Muslim has asked us a simple question about our deen. We responded by stammering and stuttering something about, believing in the One True God, praying five times a day, giving charity, fasting for a month and going for pilgrimage at least once. By explaining Islam in this fashion, we’ve reduced it to a set of rituals that the non-Muslim has no way of truly understanding.

When we pray, we stand, bow, prostrate and sit but without humility and devotion (Al-Khushoo) it would only serve to make us tired. Not eating or drinking because no food is available or because your doctor insisted you have nothing after midnight the day before an appointment is not fasting.

As Ramadan approached one year, early into my Islam, I was explaining to a non-Muslim co-worker about the blessed month. I said something to the effect of: in Ramadan we don’t eat, drink, lie or have sex during the daylight hours. My co-worker politely nodded. A man, who overheard our conversation, felt no need for politeness. He said, “You can’t eat, drink or have sex in Ramadan? I don’t wanna go there!”. He said what my co-worker was too polite to say. I missed an opportunity to explain the value of fasting for the sake of Allah alone.

Compare my explanation to the explanation found in the Glorious Quran and you will see how deeply inadequate it really was. May Allah forgive my shortcomings.

O you who believe! Observing As-Saum is prescribed for you as it was prescribed for those before you, that you may become Al-Muttaqun. Quran 2:183

The month of Ramadan in which was revealed the Qur’an, a guidance for mankind and clear proofs for the guidance and the criterion. So whoever of you sights the month, he must observe Saum that month, and whoever is ill or on a journey, the same number from other days. Allah intends for you ease, and He does not want to make things difficult for you. (He wants that you) must complete the same number (of days), and that you must magnify Allah for having guided you so that you may be grateful to Him. Quran 2:185

Non-Muslims cannot fully understand why we approach Ramadan with excitement, zeal and enthusiasm. They cannot experience for themselves our beloved Ramadan, even if they fast. And we may never be able to adequately describe what this month means for us personally on a spiritual level. However, if we try focusing on the spiritual side of our deen, when explaining it to non-Muslims, perhaps those with soft hearts will pay heed and begin worshipping their Lord with humility and full submission.

All praise and thanks belong to Allah alone, Who made me a Muslim.

Worse than the Sin Itself

On 23 Jun 2011, In Islam, by , No comments

As Salaam Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu,

I cannot verify if Abdullah bin Abbas (Radhiallaahu Anhu) actually said these words. However, even if he did not, the truth of the words appears to be obvious.

Abdullah bin Abbas said:

“You who commit a sin, do not feel secure about the results, for what goes along with the sin is more serious than the sin itself.

Your lack of shame before the angels, who witness you when you commit the sin, is more serious than the sin itself.

Your laughter when you sin, as you forget the punishment of Allah is more serious than the sin itself.

Your delight if you get a chance to sin, is more serious than the sin itself.

Even your disappointment, if you miss a chance to sin is more serious than the sin itself.”

Setting Boundaries

On 05 Jun 2011, In Autism, Dhuha, by , 2 Comments

As Salaam Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu,

I believe establishing boundaries for my children and ensuring they adhere to them is important. They help keep them safe from potential harm and out of trouble.

It has been my experience that when children have clear boundaries that they understand, they are generally better behaved. As long as you’re fair, consistent and take the time to explain the rules you have set out, most children easily conform. To me, Sabah has validated this point-of-view.

Dhuha on the other hand, has lived most of her life within unexplained, unfair and inconsistent boundaries. In the past, if she made a mess in the kitchen, we wouldn’t allow her back in. If she played with something in the bathroom that she wasn’t meant to have, we’d take her out of the bathroom. When she started eating sand, we took sand from her. In frustration, we would confine her to an ever smaller space.

Confining Dhuha to small spaces was a particular problem when we stayed at my in-laws, where she would regularly be restricted to just two rooms. Before that, we used to prevent her from going into the kitchen, bathroom and sometimes our bedroom, which left just three rooms for her to move around in.

Of course, that is unacceptable. Dhuha is an equal member of this family and when we moved into this new place, I was keen to allow her to have free access to every room in the house and outside, with the sole exception of my room. But, how do we allow her freedom to move about in her own home, without constantly chasing after her to stop her from smearing butter into the carpet on the stairs?

We have to set up boundaries, which she understands. Our solution has been to create a visual aid, which we place on things and rooms, which she is not allowed to touch or enter. My bedroom, the downstairs loo, the greenhouse and the outside gate, which leads to the road. We also carry around cards with the same image and every time she does or tries to do that is out of bounds, we present this card to her and we say “stop”.

It’s early days still but she seems to understand what the image is all about. Today, she removed the sign from the downstairs loo before she entered it. I’m hopeful that this will allow us to establish fair, consistent boundaries that she understands.

All Praise and Thanks belongs to Allah alone.

A New Place Brings a New Peace

On 16 May 2011, In Family, by , 5 Comments

As Salaam Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu,

In the lead up and to the end of last Ramadan, there was a happy tranquillity in our home. It marked the end of a trying year and everything seemed on the up. The boy was progressing as we hoped. Sabah was growing in confidence. Dhuha was putting the trauma of the previous year behind her. Zahira was looking forward to starting her first year of university and a new year of teaching. We seemed to have acquired an equilibrium in our family that had been missing for some time. Indeed, all praise and thanks belong to Allah for His blessings and that period of respite. MashaAllah.

That moment of calmness was destined to be short. As Ramadan ended and we were celebrating Eid-ul-Fitr, a new fitnah invited itself home. What a bloodthirsty trial it was! It wasn’t long before we were throwing the children’s newly bought Eid toys into the bin and most of everything else.

I can now put the financial cost of our ordeal to be between £6,000 and £8,000. However, it was the stress that had the longest and deepest impact. We had no bed, no blankets and no refuge. What I remember most was the day we took Dhuha’s bed out. That night Dhuha went looking for her bed, unable to find it she walked in circles until out of exhaustion and despair she sat on the steps leading to her room and placed her head in her hands and cried. One cannot imagine what an extraordinary gift a dark night in restful sleep is, until it has been taken away.

We were given a lifeline and invited into my in-laws home. What a relief it was to have a sanctuary! We left our house as quickly as we could. We salvaged what we could of our possessions and took the rest to the skip. It was one of the many blessings that Allah Ta’ala has given us, that we didn’t pass our plague onto our generous hosts.

Our intention was to stay a few weeks or a month at most. We began looking for a place of our own immediately. However, it was terribly difficult to find an adequate house to rent, within our budget. As the weeks turned into months, our sanctuary became a prison. The difficulty, placed on us all, was significant.

When we had almost given up on finding a new place, I happened to stumble upon a listing on the internet. It seemed to check many of our boxes and it was within our budget. We made an appointment to view it and then moved in just days later.

Now that Ramadan tranquillity, happiness and peace has become part of our day to day; even more so. We went from quite a small house, to a cramped room to something that is quite spacious. Dhuha especially seems to be relishing this new freedom. She now has her own room and her own bed. She is no longer restricted from any room in the house, with the exception of mine and Zahira’s room. On top of that she has a garden in which to escape from the house itself. Her mood and behaviour has improved a hundred fold.

There is no doubt that I am truly indebted to Allah the Most Merciful Lord. Oh Allah, make me a grateful servant!

Finally, Our Own Place

On 12 May 2011, In Family, by , 4 Comments

As Salaam Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu,

Allah says in His Quran,

Verily, with every difficulty there is relief. (94:6)

How true! Life is full of challenges, some more serious than others. Yet, when the dust has settled, there is relief.

Alhamdulillah, a few weeks back my family was able to draw a line underneath a particularly challenging seven or eight months. We are now in our own place and enjoying the extra space. While I am grateful for the hospitality of my in-laws, I am relieved that we no longer need their hospitality.

Interview with MuslimaOasis for Autism Awareness

On 06 Apr 2011, In Autism, Family, by , 1 Comment

As Salaam Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu,

Zahira and I recently did an interview with Emma Apple, founder of the online Muslim women’s magazine MuslimaOasis and the Autism awareness project BlueHijabDay.com.

The purpose of the interview was to raise awareness about autism within the Muslim community. Even though, I feel, I’m a poor autism awareness advocate, I was honoured and happy to answer the questions. I believe that each of us autism parents have something to share. Undoubtedly, our experiences can help people just entering the chaotic waters of ASD.

I would like to offer her my sincerest gratitude. I pray Allah ta’ala grants her every happiness in this life and the hereafter.

You can read the interview on the MuslimaOasis website.

About MuslimaOasis

(taken from muslimaoasis’ website)

Muslimas Oasis is a collaborative blog by and for Muslim (and non muslim) Women.

Our Goal and Purpose is to post articles and thoughts on issues affecting Women around the world from a Muslim Womans perspective. To encourage empowerment of Muslim Women (and non muslim women) and to encourage Muslim Women to stand up and use their powerful voice and powerful position in society.

We want to raise awareness of issues, eradicate stigma and stereotype, answer uncomfortable or taboo questions. We aim to encourage self awareness of body, mind and spirit on a personal and societal level.

About Blue Hijab Day

(taken from bluehijabday website)

Blue Hijab Day is an event started by Muslimas Oasis as a way to raise awareness about Autism, Aspergers and other Autism Spectrum Disorders. Our primary goal is to bring about more awareness of these disorders in the Muslim Community, a community which is sadly lacking in awareness and supportive resources for families living with autism. With that said, we very much welcome involvement from non Muslims and hope to bring about Awareness in the wider community through our efforts, we want Blue Hijab Day to become a mainstream awareness and fundraising effort with a Muslim face.

About Emma Apple

(taken from muslimaoasis’ website)

UmmHend is a kiwi mother of 2 who converted to Islam as a teenager in mid 2001 and has been known online ever since for efforts to spread understanding about Islam among Muslims and Non Muslims.

She is a Professional Web Designer, an Artist and a Published Writer, it was through her efforts for Islam that she became interested in web design and went on to teach herself and make a humble career of it.

She had all but given up on the online dawah (spreading Islamic information) efforts and finally, years later, Emma’s passionate opinions and drive to speak out inspired her to create a place that encourages women to use their voice and energy for something that will benefit them and their community, for positive affect rather than negative.

Without realizing it her original idea from 2001 came full circle. Muslimas Oasis is the matured version of the humble efforts Emma began to spread understanding of Islam and Muslim Women all those years ago.

Does God Have an Equal?

On 25 Feb 2011, In Islam, by , 1 Comment

Peace be upon those who follow righteous guidance,

I can almost hear you shouting, ‘NO!’.

God does not have an equal. He is the Originator of the heavens and earth. He created the universe from nothing by issuing a simple command, ‘Be’. He had no template from which to work or outside help of any kind. This creation, including us, is entirely His. This God of ours, the One and Only Lord of all, is so Great, High, Perfect, Mighty, Wise, Merciful and Unique that He alone deserves our devotion and our worship.

The Majesty of our Lord necessitates that His guidance possesses these same qualities. It would be unthinkable to suggest that God, who has created with perfection, could falter when it came to His religion. Meaning, for a religion to be God’s true religion, it must possess the qualities of God. Moreover, it cannot detract from the Dignity of God.

He is the Originator of the heavens and the earth. How can He have children when He has no wife? He created all things and He is the All-Knower of everything. [Quran 6:101]

If God has no equal, how can He have a wife? If He has no wife, how can He have a child? A wife is an equal and compatible companion for her husband. Without her, man cannot be successful at reproducing. Then, by which method could God have a child? Did He have this child outside of marriage? If the child was created by the command of God, then the child is no different or any more special than the rest of creation.

The similitude of Jesus before Allah is as that of Adam; He created him from dust, then said to him: “Be”. And he was. [Quran 3:59]

Think and remember the Dignity of God.

A Need for an Islamic Special Needs School

On 13 Feb 2011, In Autism, Family, by , 10 Comments

As Salaam Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu,

I feel like I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Parenting is a difficult job and it often requires parents to make difficult decisions about their children’s future. Among the most difficult, for me, has been deciding where to send my girls for school.

Sabah

Sabah started her learning career in public school, which was fine until it came to celebrating the holidays of the non-Muslim community. Her school, like most I imagine, made an especially big fuss about Christmas. Much less attention was given to Eid and other non-Christian holidays. Given the fact that Sabah’s class was more than 95% Muslim and most of the remaining 5% were Hindu, I had a big problem with the over the top attention given to Christian holidays.

Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against teaching kids about the holidays and beliefs of others. Sabah knows, for example, that Christmas is for Christians and past the pretty lights she couldn’t careless about it. Besides, there is nothing more precious, to her, on this planet than Eid. I just don’t want their celebrations and holidays forced down the throat of my children.

Our solution was to place Sabah in a private Islamic school. The school is far from perfect and I could find reason to criticize it. However, Sabah is doing well and I’m far happier sending Sabah to school.

Dhuha

Dhuha, on the other hand, started school in a specialist nursery for children with ASD, which turned out to be a terrible nightmare never to be repeated. Overnight, my docile, affectionate, sweet Dudu became an aggressive biting, pinching and spitting machine, who found it impossible to go to sleep. Dhuha was struggling to cope at school and no one informed us. Her school journal was filled with the unimportant details of what she ate during the day. A year and a half later, we are still dealing with the consequences.

Like Sabah, our solution was to put Dhuha into a private Islamic school and they seemed happy to have her. The rest of the year went smoothly and I was happy sending her to school.

When this year began, I was hopeful that Dhuha would continue to do well at school. However, despite intentions and effort, school has become a daycare, where someone looks after her and makes sure she doesn’t get into trouble but where very little learning is done. To be successful at teaching a child with autism, the school must make fantastic efforts to tailor lesson plans to the individual child, the teacher must strive to understand autism, the teacher must truly care about the child, and teaching must be done in partnership with the parents. Moreover, time is a factor. The child has to learn the skills to communicate and become independent as quickly as possible.

We don’t want to waste any more of Dhuha’s time. Therefore, Zahira and I have been to see a local public school that specializes in teaching children with various special needs, autism amongst them. I was particularly impressed with the way I saw them using PECS.

We have started the process of moving Dhuha to this new school. However, I feel tormented. This school is going to have some of the same problems as Sabah’s old school. I don’t think its necessarily the best idea to put so many children with so many problems together. I can’t have a repeat of Dhuha’s first school experience. Dhuha can’t speak for herself and I have a mistrust of public school employees. At the same time, Dhuha is not learning to communicate and she seems to not be included in her class, which is the primary reason for sending her to her current school.

An Islamic Special Needs School

I have to choose the best of a bad situation. Neither of my options are perfect. What would be perfect, is a school that can excel at teaching special needs children based on the Guidance and Mercy of Allah and His Rasul. Perhaps, my hair can be prevented from turning white and my head could fall heavily onto my pillow, without anxiety and worry. I know that if my prophet, salallahu alayhi wa sallam, were on this earth now, his mercy and patience towards our children would be limitless. Dhuha and all special needs children deserve a home and school life based on that mercy and patience.

Be Just: That is Next to Piety

On 21 Oct 2010, In Quran, by , No comments

O ye who believe! stand out firmly for Allah, as witnesses to fair dealing, and let not the hatred of others to you make you swerve to wrong and depart from justice. Be just: that is next to piety: and fear Allah. For Allah is well-acquainted with all that ye do. [Quran 5:8]

Page 3 of 15 12345...»

@MyIslamicFamily

All Praise and Thanks belongs to Allah Alone. Copyright © 2009 - 2011 MyIslamicFamily.Com
↑ Scroll to top