As Salaam Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu,
Since Dhuha began sleeping on her own a few months ago, we have been able to confidently put her in bed, with a kiss and salaam and know that she would fall asleep with little trouble. Alhamdulillah, it was a major improvement for her and me, as it was a manifestation of far fewer bedtime troubles. If she was tired, she went to sleep, end of story.
Recently, a new behaviour has emerged, which I suspect is a result of the change in routine that starting school brings. By 20:30 – 21:00, Dhuha is visibly tired and ready to sleep or is falling asleep. Rather than stay in bed and sleep like before, she runs back downstairs and sits on the sofa. No matter how many times you take her to bed, tuck her in, kiss her and say salaam, she will run back down. It has gotten to the point where I have to remain in her room until she falls asleep or she just won’t stay in bed. Added to that is her sudden refusal to sleep with the lights off. Just last week, we had to make the room quite dark for her before she would sleep.
This morning I was woken by Dhuha’s crying. Finding her room empty, I went downstairs and found her sitting and crying on the sofa, with the lights on. I picked her up, took her to her room and lied in bed with her. After a few minutes, it was obvious that she was up for the morning. So, when I heard the alarm for fajr I got up with her. Once she was out of bed, her mood and behaviour improved immediately and she didn’t cry or fuss the rest of the morning and that’s with her brother troubling her.
Yesterday, I was thinking about what I was calling “the behaviour of the day” (not a lot like “soup of the day”), those obsessive behaviours Dhuha exhibits for relatively brief moments.
The following is a list of some of those behaviours of the day that I can recall from over the years. These are all things she did compulsively that has since stopped. Perhaps there are other things, that could be added to this list but have escaped my memory. Alhamdulillah, realising that many of her behaviours are temporary, no matter how difficult, helps me have sabr.
- Constantly wanting to be held and carried around. Never venturing far from mummy or daddy.
- Stacking cans/tins of food.
- Trying to run out of the house.
- biting, pinching, spitting.
- Playing in the toilet.
- Shredding her nappy/diaper.
- Using the bath as a toilet.
- Letting the water out of the bath.
- Screaming for hours at night.
- Spilling her drink.
- Wanting to watch television for hours.
- Kicking, pushing and hitting her brother.
- Eating polo mints.
All praise and thanks belong to Allah alone.