As Salaam Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu,
I testify to the fact that there is nothing in the heavens above or in the earth below that deserve to be worshiped except Allah, the Lord of all. I testify to the face that Muhammad ibn Abdullah is the slave and messenger of Allah, the seal of the prophets and the most noble of men.
A couple of days ago my wife and and I went to pick Sabah up from madrasa. I waited in the car while Zahira collected her. When they got back to the car, I gave the usual greeting of salaam. Zahira replied, ‘we have a problem’. Sabah is misbehaving in madrasa and apa is tired of it. Apparently, its been going on for days but today was worse. Spurred on by another child, Sabah laughs when apa is telling other kids to behave and when it’s time to read her sabak, she refuses to even look at the book.
Sabah had a similar problem when she first joined her madrasa. She befriended two boys that turned out to be quite naughty and she behaved like they did. There were a couple of tough weeks for us, lots of alone time in her bedroom, lots of saying sorry, and a lot less treats. It worked, she started behaving and she started to improve and more forward in her lessons.
After apa finished telling Zahira what happened, Sabah was only concerned that I might find out. She told her mother not to tell me but of course she did. Sabah got into the car quietly and looked back nervously when her mother was telling me what happened.
I guess that it shouldn’t have been a real surprise because we noticed that apa wasn’t giving her any new sabak, meaning she wasn’t reciting the one she already had and at home she didn’t give her full attention to it. I tried to bribe her by offering to take her to buy something she wanted but that didn’t work.
When we got home, I told Sabah to take off her coat, shoes and to put her juzdaan away and then I led her up to her room. I don’t shout or hit my kids, when I’m angry. Mainly because the soft approach works so well with Sabah but also because my father was harsh on every occasion and I ended up terrified of the man. Sabah told me that she doesn’t want to go to her room but I told her that she has to because she was being naughty. After a while, I went and got her from her room on the condition that she behaves and doesn’t trouble anyone.
Downstairs, she wanted to sit on my lap and do whatever it was that I was doing. I told her no because I’m still upset. She started to cry and then told on me. I asked her to come near me and then I hugged her and kissed her and told her that I love her but I’m still upset because she wasn’t listening to apa and wasn’t learning her sabak. She left me and went sulking.
Zahira told me that she thought that Sabah was upset because I was upset with her and that I must remember that Sabah is only five. When Sabah asked to go to the toilet, I took her. Normally, she asks me to carry her up the stairs. She wasn’t going to ask this time but I offered. I carried her above my head up the stairs and down the hallway and we laughed and she was happy again. There was no more sulking, no more crying and the whole mood in the house changed. She really was upset only because I was upset.
I asked Zahira how long will it last? I know there will be a day when she really doesn’t care if I’m upset and that’s going to be a sad day.
O Allah, there is no god except You, glory be to You, praise be to You. O Allah forgive us our shortcomings and admit us into Your paradise.
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